I know change is a scary word. Often we want to embrace change but resist it all at the same time. But what if… what if you changed one small thing that would bring colossal shifts in to your life!

I am talking about our “Self Talk” What if you changed your self talk to positive from negative. Seems simple right. Well are you truly aware how much you speak to yourself negatively? Now that I am a life coach and are aware of it in clients- this is a big issue with clients and when I am out in the world I hear people using negative self talk unconsciously in an overwhelming way! I am shocked at what I hear people say about themselves and how much they put themselves down in a completely unaware way (And this is what I am hearing from them on the outside! I can’t even imagine what they must be saying on the inside that outside observers like myself don’t hear!). Self talk is extremely powerful! I want that to sink in … Self talk is extremely powerful! It can make or break your day, your self confidence, your spirit, your life!

If you ask any behavioural psychologist student – they will tell you that positive reinforcement is much stronger and is more effective than negative reinforcement (think Big Bang Theory when Seldon is feeding Penny chocolates every time she does some thing he likes and wants to “reinforce “)

So think of the damage we are capable of inflicting on ourselves with our negative “Self talk”. What would the power be if we were to start positive “Self talk”! Think of the places we could go and the people we could meet! The possibilities would be endless for us!

So I set myself up as a guinea pig – and decided to stop the negative talk and begin the positive self talk – this has been a purposeful 3 year experiment. Now at first I must admit the negative self talk was pretty firmly cemented in and to be honest the positive self talk felt weird, foreign, silly and frankly dumb! I would sometimes even get mad at myself for such kitchy talk “it was silliness! ” I would protest with myself! It won’t work anyways.

But slowly and gently (cause this is not an overnight transformation) I started (at first under protest) letting go of the negative talk. I started recognizing it and stopping myself as soon as I recognized it (even if I was in the middle of it and the old me would have snidely said yeah you never could finish anything). But now my energy was aware and ready to stop the negative speak and then I started replacing it with positive speak. For instance I would say to myself and some times others that I had to out smart myself and it always worked when I outsmarted myself (and yes that’s a backhanded Hollywood type of positive talk but I was going in the right direction!) and that’s what counts!

I started calling myself cute little names like beautiful, clever girl, darling, precious- and then I realized – I was giving myself the love and care I have always been craving. The love and care I had been looking for, outside of myself, looking for it in others. I started falling in love with myself and providing the safe, loving space for me to be myself- my authentic self -and She is Fabulous!! Do you know how empowering it is to fall truly, madly deeply in love with yourself- you love her so much that you want to best for her! And you want the best for those around her too – cause she wants to be surrounded with happiness! You love her so much you are able to see which path is the best, healthiest path for her and you believe in her and you are able to support her in her endeavours and if she fails or falls down, you now have the Gentle love that is needed to help her get back up and try again. ( instead of the bashing, berating speech we often give ourselves when we’ve “screwed things up again”). Do you know what power there is in this shift?!!!

All the sadness, hurts, betrayals, fall away and that’s when healing, forgiveness and love come flooding in. It’s an amazing experience! It creates an environment for growth, success and total utter bliss to bloom! Oh sure,there are blue days or dark days don’t get me wrong- I’m not writing a Pollyanna story here but even those days seem to go by faster – you rise from the muck of life so much faster when you have to power and confidence to LOVE Yourself!

Now my self talk (and I caught myself the other day saying these exact phrases) today goes like this

“You clever girl”

“My but aren’t you Beautiful this morning ”

“I love my body” (I save that one for the shower)

“Look at that Smile! It’s gorgeous!”

“Aren’t you smart!”

“Look at you getting things done! Good for you!”

Try it today – try a little positive “Self talk”. I guarantee it will change your life!

So will my HEAP of Abundance course. Ask me about it today and change your life forever!

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